Amazingly enough, this whole blog was Ethan's idea. (something I am very proud of him for actually) It might just be a ploy to get me to write on a regular basis and in a more public manner, but I love it and am equally determined to get him to write a little about the daily lives of Ethan and Elaine. Before I can really get started, I have to share that Ethan and I are ridiculous and we spend a large amount of time telling people of our experiences. We really need to keep these experiences for posterity and personal enjoyment, so feel free to make fun, relate to, and share our stories however they come.
For those of you who do not know, Ethan and I met at Greenville Christian preschool. And to further clarify, we were actually preschoolers at the time. I was one of 2 or 3 girls that attended this preschool with about 7 boys. Ethan's aunt was one of the teachers and also the babysitter of 1/3 of the students. I knew who he was, but at 4 we didn't have a huge relationship. (Except maybe when we played the Farmer in the Dell and he maybe could have been the farmer that picked me as a wife, but I don't remember) We ate animal crackers together and once I went to his aunt's house and got chased by what my memory says is a Chihuahua, and that's about as much as I can recall. Luckily, as fate would have it, our lives cross again beyond preschool.
Although separated in Kindergarten, we were in the same 1st grade class. We were in our first school play together (Little Red Riding Hood). I played Granny and Ethan was an adorable tree that swayed in the woods. Again, we didn't talk a whole lot but we played at recess with other kids and remembered preschool. In second and third grade we only saw each other on grade wide field trips. I didn't know who he was friends with and I probably rarely thought of him (so sorry sweetheart..)
Then there was 4th grade. In 4th grade you could go to dances and with dances come boys!! Ethan and I were once again in the same class and we started to have the same group of friends. As the year progressed I developed a healthy crush on Ethan, but being the ladies man that he was, he was not available. So I spent my evenings writing in my gel pen diary about him, as any ten year old would do.
When fifth grade came around, I was still conversing with my diary and waiting not so patiently. Once again we were in the same class and in addition I was also allowed to ride the school bus home in the afternoon. This may not seem significant until you know that Ethan rode my bus too! (Yes, we live close enough to ride the same bus) So in our own little way we were spending more time together, but he was STILL unavailable. Somehow halfway through the year, he got freed up and I took over. Now I'm not aggressive, he still had to ask me out, but it didn't take long for me to read the note he passed me, ask my mother's permission, and accept his invitation to be his girlfriend. FINALLY!!!!!!!! (probably a quote from the gel pen diary)
I could share with you the memories of those few fifth grade months if they included anything other than Wednesday love notes (which conveniently were delivered on Wednesdays because that was the day we went to art class and he had access to markers and other creative utensils) and friday night school dances, however they do not. Being 11, I did not understand how you could have a relationship in the summer time, so one day at recess I asked if we could "just be friends" (a classic line) and he said that'd be ok.
I skipped on my merry way to 6th grade and Ethan and I were not in the same class, but again with recess and the bus I still got to see him. And dern if he didn't go and steal my heart again when he was unavailable! I knew what to do and waited patiently, wrote in the diary again, and stayed prominently by his side until she let him go. I was right there to catch him. This time I secretly held his hand on the bus, clearly our relationship was COMPLETELY different. And.... summer came around again, and we found ourselves single again heading into jr high.
Now I don't know why, but out of 4 elementary schools coming together for 7th grade, Ethan and I still found ourselves in a few of the same classes. We had the same friends and did the same things and he liked me. I was just not so interested but after making him give me 2 weeks (conveniently the exact amount we were given for Christmas Break) I told him I would once again be his girlfriend. This was a bad choice. We did nothing but fight for about 3 to 4 months and around May he decided to end it, probably with the intention of me apologizing and coming back... but I said GOOD I'm DONE! (or something along those dramatic lines) Then 8th grade, I plum hated the kid. I couldn't wait for us to drift apart in high school because even though we weren't "dating" he was still on my bus and in my life. Probably because I still felt the need to tell him stuff about my life and secrets or whatever was on my mind at 14 and he "listened" but then told everyone or that's how I remember it.
Freshman year, not so exciting. Sophomore year, got a little closer and grew up a lot. Started being in shows together. A Cappella choir and music became our lives for the next 3 years. (side picture is from this year haha)
Junior year, stuff got a little shakey. We didn't know what we were doing after high school. We had little tiffs that we never dealt with and didn't apologize for, we simply concluded with "let's pretend this didn't happen" (E&E Tip- Don't do that!!!) Communication was lacking, affection was lacking, happiness was lacking, and honesty was lacking. All these things are pretty vital to healthy relationships. Leaving out some sappy details, the summer between our jr. and sr. years of high school was rough for us. I lived away from home and had very little time to talk to Ethan and rarely saw him. I learned that I didn't want to stay in Greenville, Indiana for the rest of my life and I was pretty for sure he was not included in whatever plans I did see myself doing. After a letter, (yes we use snail mail on occasion. When you can't get the words out of your mouth you can always write them down) he caught on to my feelings and called me a million times when I was too busy to answer the phone, so I knew I had to call him when I was free. When I had a chance, I took a walk and called him and without ever saying the words "break up" we ended it right then and there to save ourselves from sitting and wasting our time on a relationship that wasn't going any where. Best choice we could have made at that point in our lives.
Senior year was completely different than any other part of our story so it almost feels like it doesn't really fit in sequence with it. The first semester for me was difficult because I was returning home from living in what I believe to be a small piece of heaven at Indian Creek Baptist Church camp in Bedford, Indiana. As many college students know, it's great to come home but once you've left, coming back for GOOD isn't as fun any more. I spent time adjusting to that, adjusting to being a senior, adjusting to not hanging out with Ethan (who had been like a package deal and came with all my other friends I hung out with), and adjusting to having a cousin-sister living with me after spending a year as a quasi-only child. I don't really know WHAT Ethan was doing during this point in time because the goal was distance.
Something happened at our Annual Tuesday Before Thanksgiving hang out with Ethan, Nick and Elaine (and whoever else happens to join) that year. I don't know what it was but I felt something for Ethan again. Part of me was mad because I was doing it ALL over again and felt like my 11 year old self and I just wanted to shove it all away, part of me was completely confused because we were literally just in a car going to walmart to get fake tattoos, but one thing I knew was that if nothing else he was my very very best friend and he would have to at least be in my life forever as that.
So bla bla bla skip some months Ethan is much braver than me and came out and said 'HEY I have feelings for you but it's all different this time. We need to talk, we need to know what we want, we need to know where we're going, we need to actually get to know each other.' (I'm paraphrasing here) And I'm like SERIOUSLY all this stuff I wanted to hear 7 months ago when we were IN a relationship, you're just discovering NOW? And we went for a car ride and told each other a lot of the things that had gone wrong before and spent hours talking about what we had wanted at specific instances and never had the audacity to say something to the other, we learned things that in 13 years of knowing each other we had never known. Eventually the night had to end, but we weren't at a place where we could say we should be together but that's where it started. In the next 8 months, Ethan would continue to ask me out many times and I would continuously tell him no. I did NOT want to be in a relationship with him because I was going off to Evansville and was planning to find someone there. I did NOT want to be in a relationship with him because he did not understand me. I did NOT want to be in a relationship with him because I had already done that before and I had already done the 2nd chance (and 3rd, and 4th) thing. I was NOT going to be in a relationship with him because I wanted someone I could marry and both of us knew that we couldn't stand it if we'd married each other. I was not going to date him, it was not going to happen.
Ethan is a persistant booger. I was mean, he was stubborn. I had walls up, he came at me with bulldozers. Through all this, we kept getting closer and closer and he was becoming more inseparable to my heart than he had before and all I could say was he was my very best friend. The night before I left for college, we went to wal-mart together for last minute stuff and the song Only You Can Love Me This Way by Keith Urban came on and I cried and unsuccessfully tried to hide it from him. Besides when my parents drove away after dropping me off at my dorm, I didn't cry with any one else saying goodbye. Very. Best. Friend.
I get to school, I get in a groove. He's at school, he's in a groove. I'm talkin to some fellas, he didnt' like 'em and had something to say about all of them. I went on a date. And to preserve identity I will say nothing else other than it was bad, Just B-A-D. And all I thought was, "Ethan would never treat me this way. He would never treat any girl this way." Next day still bummin about the date I texted Ethan something very very very vague like, "hey." and he said "whats wrong." and that's where it started. I didn't say a word but he knew I was upset. He asked if I was upset about a guy in Evansville or at home and I said sort of at home. And then it took off. Before I knew it I was nervous and sitting on a Washing machine in dorm laundry room, skyping with Ethan and we were talking it out. I made him jump through several hoops to get to me but somehow I said we could try again. I was scared and more nervous than I'd probably ever been. I wanted to throw up and cry at the same time and I didn't know what was right in the world.
And now what feels like centuries later, here we are. After all this we've talked about dreams and hopes and the things that make us mad, or sad. And memories that are hard, and times when faith in God is hard and when doing the right thing is hard. We've talked about what makes us happy and moves us to a point that's unlike anything else we've experienced. And the crazy thing is we've done this together. Teamwork is kind of important with us, (even if we do bicker about who's the boss and who's the president) domination isn't our goal here. Who wears the pants, isn't our goal. It's how we can get through this life standing by each other's side and being proud of what the other has accomplished and loving them for who they are.
So now I'm finished for the day. I apologize for the excrutiating length; I write like I talk, so pity all those people that had to sit and listen to me tell this story and didn't get to click over to facebook or their e-mail before the story was done ;)
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
-Elaine
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