3 Years

{October 6, 2012}

It might not seem believable, but today marks the longest time Ethan and I have ever been committed and dedicated to a relationship with each other. You would think that knowing each other our entire lives and the countless times we’ve given our love a chance, we’d have made it to 3 years, but nope. This is it. And for some reason to me it means this is forever.

       No, it’s not our wedding date. It’s not even that 3 years ago was such a momentous beginning to our relationship that it should be celebrated annually. It’s because we were unstable in all our other attempts to love each other before now. We never once allowed God to be a pillar in our relationship because it wasn’t serious and it wasn’t a priority.

       Now it’s different. Now as my soulmate, I am concerned about who he’s given his soul to before I came along. And I can say that it’s the same one who crafted and holds my heart in the palm of His hand.  And I see Ethan now as a gift from our Creator to have and to hold and to complete me. Now, we have this commitment to love each other and even without a marriage license or a different last name, I’ll say that I’m committed in front of God to love Ethan for the rest of my life, and these 3 years have helped to teach me that.   

What I'm thinking on our 3 year anniversary with a series of 3 word phrases:

I can’t wait –  For all the tomorrows until our wedding, for forever with Ethan, for the good days and the bad days, for every bit of it.

I’m so blessed – When I hear the song “Lucky” by Jason Mraz, it reminds me of us but I know I’m more than lucky to ‘have been where I have been.’ I’m BLESSED by the One who set this into action.

We’ve grown up- SO much has changed since that night sitting on a washing machine in a dorm building trying to decide if the risk of a relationship was worth taking, and every bit of that change has been for the better.

I don’t remember  - I used to be able to tell you the best dates, or the best kisses, or the best phrases,  or best text messages, and tell you what I was wearing, who was with us, and the complete series of events. Now, those things happen so often that it’s a blur of ‘bests,’ so now, I just don’t remember!

   Proud of us –  I never knew what it really felt like to be proud of someone else until the past 3 years. Getting through college and other aspects of life has been a big accomplishment, and I’m proud of both of us for getting to where we are. So many big things about to happen in our lives!

The majority of this entry I wrote back in March because I had it on my mind what I would say when we hit the 3 year mark.  I feel all of these things even more so now, and had to add on a few more.  We’re happy to be celebrating our last dating anniversary, and are looking forward to many more June anniversaries to come! 

  " Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle."
- Amy Bloom

 I can't wait until a lifetime!

Elaine 

Weekend Close Out!!!

This past weekend was quite the weekend, I felt like I was constantly moving and never really had time to rest and enjoy the weekend.

On Friday I signed the lease to my new apartment which will be the last place I will live before I am MARRIED!!! Elaine took off early and helped me move some small things into my new place, which I am sharing with two other guys that I have never met before in my entire life. For those of you who don't know me, I haven't had great experiences with living with people I don't know so this is a big step for me. I've lived in the place for 3 days and I've moved furniture approximately 4 times.

I've been participating in a 6 week boot camp at Anytime Fitness that completely exhausts me every time I go. Before school started I was going 8 times a week and burning approximately 1000 calories each work, the work outs are only one hour long. On Saturday they hosted the boot camp challenge, this was an opportunity for us to join a team and compete with other teams on various challenges. I am very proud of my team of four, we won two of the four events one of which consisted of flipping a 190 pound tire approximately 50 yards. GO TEAM!!!!

Following boot camp I had to rush home and get ready for my final choir audition at UofL. I get really nervous for all my auditions and typically it shows really bad in the audition. This audition was just like all the others, so nervous I rush the music and can't remember the words. Needless to say I am happy it's over with.

In order to calm my nerves Elaine treated me to ice cream at Berry Twist, only the greatest ice cream place in Floyd Knobs. While it was really good all I could think about was how long I would have to run in order to work off the deliciousness.... the run still hasn't happened.

I look forward to the third Sunday of August every year... THE SCHMIDT FAMILY REUNION AND VOLLEYBALL TOURNEY!! Each year at the reunion Team Corny and Team Francis battle it out on the court. This year we recruited one of our other cousins which made the team name change to Team CORNVINCE. Vincent was one of my grandpas other brothers. I don't think our team has won EVER but at least we have a really good time. This year team Cornvince decided to intimidate team Francis by sending out my my mom, and a couple of my aunts, I don't think the other team expected them to step out onto the court and actually want to play. We were pleasantly surprised at how good they were. Prior to walking on to the court my aunt looked at us and said, "if it has anything to do with a ball I'm out". That makes you feel really good!! To tell you how committed they were they were talking smack and my mom even dove for a ball.. thats commitment. I have a video that I will post shortly.

I wrapped up the weekend by hosting a cookout at UofL for all of the new freshman music therapy students. I have to thank all of the officers that helped and all of the students that came out and socialized.

WHAT A WEEKEND!!!

Wrapping up the summer....

I've been thinking really hard about writing another blog and every time I sit down to write I get distracted or I can't think of what to write about. I promise this time I will get through an entire post before leaving my computer, Elaine will appreciate this because every time I start a blog it show up on our dashboard and she constantly bugs me to finish so she can read the whole thing.

I must say it has been one busy and long summer for both Elaine and I. Elaine is less than two days away from starting her student teaching and I am less than a week away from starting my senior year at UofL. I remember sophomore years staying up until the wee hours of the morning talking to Elaine about how it seems like forever until graduation and real jobs. Now were both wondering where all that time has gone and we're asking the big question, what next? What we do know for sure is that we are getting married on June 22, 2013 and we will be gone the following week for a honey moon but after that we have no idea what we are doing, besides being MARRIED!! It's exactly 313 days away.

This semester I will be doing music therapy clinical work at Norton Audubon Hospital in Louisville. I have been waiting for this clinical every since I started at UofL only because I have always thought I wanted to do medical music therapy. A normal clinical placement at UofL lasts one semester but this clinical will last the entire year which will run me up until I start my internship. I am hoping that after this year I will have a better understanding of what populations I want to serve.

Elaine will be starting her student teaching at Cedar Hall Community School in Evansville, teaching a class full of 30 fifth graders. Sometime I think I am more excited than her about her student teaching. Today she had to explain to me that it was more of a nervous excited feeling. I have to admit I would probably be really nervous myself if I was going to be standing up in front of a class full of 30 fifth graders. As much as she likes to doubt herself I know for a FACT that she is going to be a great teacher and she is going to have some very lucky students. For more detail about her student teaching check out her blog "Teaching to learn and learning to teach".

While Elaine and I were both very busy this summer we made the time to spend some time with each other and with our AWESOME friends. As many people know I have been slowly starting a photography business and this summer Elaine was the greatest help a photographer could ask for, I like to tell her that she is my mean assistant that constantly tells people to sit up straight and to smile. We have taken senior pictures, family pictures, maternity pictures, and this coming weekend we will be shooting our first wedding.

Last week we did maternity pictures for my cousin Nick and his wife Kaitlyn. Growing up Nick was like the brother I never had and many can testify that when the two of us were together someone was bound to get hurt and that someone wasn't either of us. In May he married the love of his life and now in less than a month we will be welcoming Ms. Norah Jane Cherry into the family. I am more than excited for both of them and I know that they are going to be great parents.

Now that I jumped all around and rambled I would like to close with a thought that I learned this past weekend while attending church at Greenville Christian with Elaine. I am constantly questioning the journey that God has planned for me and I spend a lot of time trying to take detours and living a life that I hope to live and not a life that God has planned for me to live. I tend to allow others to pull me down and more importantly I allow myself to pull me down. This week I pray that I will start the journey that God has planned for me and pray that I will take the time to listen and trust the God that loves me more that I can imagine.

"MY CHAINS ARE GONE AND GOD WILL SET ME FREE"

Gaining Much-Needed Confidence

Remember that time we said when we posted the proposal story blog we could finally write again?
Obviously....That was fake.

It must be some sort of annual thing for January- March to be the craziest time in our lives, because I recall writing a teary-eyed blog about our busy lives a year ago and history seemed to repeat itself this year. In other news- even with only one semester left of school and Ethan with two, Ethan and I have both had plenty of days when we question our career choices. Ethan hasn't felt a lot of encouragement from the Midwest in music therapy as a full time career and I have days when I feel that I only chose teaching as a default because I don't know how to do anything else. Trust me, when you get this close to graduation, even with these doubts you start to feel like you'll settle just to get through and you can change your mind later.

   Last month, Ethan started a clinical at Kosair hospital working with music therapy in the NICU. A few months ago he was in Georgia getting certified to work with these tiny babies and he'd had quite a while to be uneasy about the kinds of things he'd be dealing with. In my elementary teacher mind, I was just excited he'd be with babies. I couldn't wait to talk to him after his first session to see how it went.  
    He was overflowing with excitement about the opportunities to learn more and to just take in the awesome miracle that these babies are. Going into it, the music therapy students were unsure about how the hospital staff would react to their work. To their surprise, they received the utmost respect from the NICU staff and are welcomed when they return each week. I'm so proud when the rest of the world realizes that music therapy is real and can truly help people. I'm even more excited that Ethan can find confidence in what he loves to do. It inspires him to think about how far he can go as a Music Therapist and that means how far we can go since we're in this for the long haul. (and those future plans are a whole other blogpost altogether) Really excited for Ethan's future career!
     As for my future career, I know it's teaching. Surprise! But really, if you know an elementary teacher very well you will know that they are constantly doubting themselves and hoping that the kids will get something out of what they're trying to teach. They're praying the test scores will be good, not only so that the nightmare of merit-based pay grants them a paycheck, but so that the students can go on with their lives being children and not worrying about standardized tests and marks that are heavy and dark.
       After a recent job, I've decided, I want to be a teacher to have a chance to see the sunshine of a nice day when the kids go out to recess. I want to be a teacher so that I can see my family on the weekends, even if it's from behind a pile of papers to grade. I want to be a teacher to hear the silly ways kids explain life. And finally I want to be a teacher so that I can be who God has obviously created me to be. I've heard it said that no matter where you are, you're going to be doing what God made you to do. Kind of like, even in a retail setting, you're going to be prone to explain things to people in a way they'd understand, refer to a book for answers when you're unsure, and sometimes you're fixing problems people come in with, not what you're assigned to do- that is, if you're called to be a teacher.

"Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised." Hebrews 10:35-36

Popping the Question- from two points of view

Almost exactly 6 months ago, Ethan and I got engaged. This is now basically old news, but we have never written about it and it has completely inhibited me from being able to write another blog until this story is out! We both wanted to write this story from our perspectives and the time never came around to do that so now in order to be able to blog again, we are publishing this 

The Chatty Lady- Elaine
   On June 11, 2011, I had returned home from being gone for a week and a half at Camp. I was cabin leading and working with no phone access or internet access and no Ethan access, so I had a TON to tell him.  Ethan texted me and said that he wanted to go to dinner, I assumed this would happen since I had been gone for a week. Of course I accepted his offer and he said he'd be at my house around 6 and I should wear one of the new dresses I'd recently bought. "Well," I thought, "What a great idea! I've been sweaty and looking nasty for a whole week why not get dressed up for the night? " My parents kept asking me where we were going and I said probably El Nopal, knowing us, but I didn't care because I was just excited to look presentable.
   When Ethan picked me up, I hopped up into the front seat and started rambling. I told him, "I'm going to be talking your ear off, so if there's anything you want to say, you just need to jump right in here any time." He kind of laughed and rolled his eyes and said, "Ok, go." So I started  with, "Sunday night, me, me, me, camp, my campers, me, it was hot, camp, bible study, me...etc." At about Amazing Glaze, Ethan jumped in and said "OH! I forgot to tell you, I got PhotoShop, it came in while you were gone!" Well this is awfully exciting for a gentleman who has a fancy camera and enjoys taking pictures of his girlfriend who likes to have her pictures taken, so I said, "AWESOME!!" and he said, "So do you mind if we go to The Mount and take pictures before we eat?" I said, "No problem! Sounds great!" (For those of you who do not know, "The Mount" is Mt. St. Francis, a retreat center, church, and nature reserve, lake place that we hike at all the time. Ethan takes pictures there all the time. And we had just taken pictures a few weeks before, so it was no surprise that he wanted to go again)
      So we pull in to The Mount, and get out of the car. Guess what? I'm still talking, " me, me, me, camp, me, campers, me, Jesus, communion, me..." He is still nodding when appropriate and commenting when it's required as we walk together holding hands down towards the lake. We  get down to the not-sketchy dock (because there is a difference between the sketchy and not sketchy, trust me) We sit down for a few minutes with the sun in our eyes and Ethan tells me that he wants me to stand at the end of  the dock facing the sun and the water but not to face him. My exact words, "THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING WE SHOULD DO!!!! GOOD IDEA" So I skip to the end of the dock and stand there....still talking, "there's someone jogging, it's hot, how should I stand," all while he is saying, "ok...hold still...one more second...ok now turn and face me."
     So I turn to face him, expecting him to take another picture of me and there he is, on one knee in front of me holding out a ring in a white box. He looked at me, turned his head to the side and said, "Will you marry me?" And that right there shut me up, speechless, breathless, balance-less, alll of it. That's where it goes blurry and I think I said, "is this real?" I might have said, "you're kidding" but I know he had to say, "Is that a yes?" to which I replied, "of course" and kissed him. And then I had to sit down because I was literally shaking... I could go on and on about what happened next with every one we called and how we probably didn't talk again until around 11 o'clock because when we weren't on the phone, I couldn't say much other than how I had no idea and then would get distracted by my left ring finger. I am beyond excited to be marrying my best friend and love of my life and to be soo incredibly blessed to have had all of these years to get to know each other and finally come to an age and time in our life where the next step is forever.

The Person Popping the Question - Ethan
I love how Elaine started writing her perspective on the day we got engaged, my perspective begins two days prior to the engagement when I had to talk to her dad. I've always been told that the respectful thing to do was to talk to the parents but I didn't realize it would be that nerve wracking!!!

It was June 9, 2011 when I recieved the call the the ring was ready for pick-up. I grabbed my phone, keys, and wallet and headed to Endris Jewelers. I remember walking in seeing the ring and then writing the check. I can honestly say it was one the proudest moments of my life. The lady at the counter looked at me and in a really excited voice said, "good luck sweetie". I thanked the lady, walked out of the store and literally ran back to my car because I was scared someone would mug me due to the ring that was in my hand. Once I made it to my car I locked the door and called my mom and my friend Ashley as I drove home. On the drive home it hit me.....in order to give such a beautiful ring to my future wife I had to still talk to her parents...I felt like I could throw up at that point.

Once I arrived at my house I had to call Elaines mom and dad and set up a time to go talk to them in person. I talked to Elaine's mom and she said, "5:45 would be a good time to come over, Alan will be home and it will be right before we go to church". So I took a shower and tried to look decent and watched the clock for an hour, pacing back and forth, laying on the couch, playing piano, and getting on facebook. Finally 5:30 rolled around my phone vibrated with at text message from Mary that said, "Alan is running late so maybe 6 would be a better time to come over". More pacing, watching the clock, facebooking and playing piano took place for another 15 minutes. Finally it was time to head to their house. I really didn't have time to calm my nerves on the drive over due to the fact that we only live 5 minutes away from eachother. I pulled in the driveway, got out of my car and bent down to tie my shoe, it was at that point that I came really really really close to passing out. I stood up got my bearing, walked in, sat down and thats when the magic happened. Everything after they said yes was a blur. I remember walking out of their house feeling like the world had been lifted off of my shoulders.

The initial proposal plan was to pop the question on the beach in Florida two weeks later.. obviously that didn't happen. After talking to my parents I decided that I wanted to propose close to home so she could be close to her family and show everyone her ring...I know how my future wife is.

June 11th was the day I set in my head to pop the question to my preschool, elemetary school, middle school, and high school sweet heart. Elaine had been at camp for a week  so I knew that she would have a lot to tell me about her week. I texted her once I got off work as she was headed home from camp and told her that I would pick her up around 5:30 to go to dinner. On our way to Clarksville I told her that I had bought the new version of photoshop and would like to swing by the mount to take some picture before dinner. She agreed and off we went down the trail to the dock. After I squeezed my idea about going to the mount Elaine continued talking about her week at camp.

Once we got to the dock I told Elaine to walk out to the end of the dock and turn away from me, facing the sun. After she turned around I snapped a few pictures, with the ring in my hand the whoe time, and told her to turn back around. She turned around and looked at me as I said "Elaine will you marry me". At that point I thought for sure she was going to fall in the lake. She kept asking me "is this real", "your kidding". Once I got an answer I kissed her and we sat down and talked for a long long time. We spend that night talking to people on the phone and thanking people for the congrats on facebook.

I thank God every day for putting Elaine and her family into my life. It is very rare to marry someone that you've known since preschool. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with Elaine Elliott.

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and gains favor with the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

Why I can't get over camp

paddle boats at Special Person's

      There are a thousand reasons why I choose to spend at least one week of my summer at camp. Mostly because it’s one of my favorite places on earth and I may have a secret plan of making it everyone else’s favorite place too…including Ethan, but that’s another story.

Ethan & me and many others in a dunk tank

 Camp does this for me. It is this place where I feel so at peace when I know I don’t deserve peace. It’s a place where people lift me up for the work that I’m doing that I don’t do for recognition.  It’s the place where I am trusted when I know I have failed people before and I am still trusted. It’s the place where I can be funny and don’t exhaust it by trying too hard. It’s the place where I can listen and not have to contribute. It’s the place where I can look at the moon and say, “well hey God, how on earth after all that you’ve shown me day in and day out, with that moon and these kids, and prayer after prayer that you’ve answered with grace do I continue to choose things that don’t glorify you?” and I don’t feel that God is angry with me. It’s the place where I know my faith is a choice and not an obligation. I feel the tug of the truth that God’s there waiting, but you don’t HAVE to say anything to him until you CHOOSE to, even in a place as Christ-centered as camp. It’s the place where I can be in complete disagreement with someone’s opinion and know that we have something in common that reminds me I’m still capable of loving them. It’s the place that when I leave I can feel the return to something darker and it hurts every time. It’s the place that shows me God.

             Jesus grants me this peace that is so undeserved because He knows that we are human. He knows that we will fail and we can never do a single thing on our own to avoid that failure. So to cover up that flaw that we have marked on us, He said, “Don’t worry, I love you. I’ve got this” and He took all of that stuff that gets me down, every mistake I’ve made, every worry I hold on to and said,  “you don’t have to be afraid in the chaos, you have been given peace.”  And that is made real to me here. No good deed will get any one into heaven, but in order to show that your faith is true, you should do good works because that’s what people notice, not necessarily what’s in your heart. God sees what you do AND what’s in your heart and wants you to be encouraged by how happy that makes him. And I feel that here. I know every lie I’ve told, I know every rule I’ve broken and every person I’ve cheated, so does God, He still puts people in my life to love me and to need me. I receive so many of those people here.   

            God gave me a sense of humor, I am sometimes quick witted and other times I only wish I were quick witted. Here He gives me opportunities to use it to lighten other people’s loads. I was blessed or cursed (not sure yet) with an ability to talk and an equally strong yet less utilized blessing of listening and here I can exercise that gift. God wants me to recognize the areas in my life that aren’t where they should be, I am convicted but not condemned, because He wants my life to be the best that it can be, which is a life that points wholly to Him and He wants to give me GOOD things to prosper me, not to harm me. This conviction without resentment is here. God needs me to know how much he desires a relationship with me that is close, but a relationship is a choice and I am not a puppet. I feel the times to make that choice when I am here. Walking in the light is walking with Jesus and knowing the better choices to make, the darkness is life away from Christ when you start to slip off that path which is only going to lead to hurt.  The difference between light and dark is much more evident here.

            The trick is, God is every where. I know that, I’ve always known that. However every time I think about the spiritual depression that follows a summer surrounded by believers, I think NOOO I can’t leave here because God isn’t out there. He most definitely is out there, but here is where I agree to listen. If I continued to notice the peace, the encouragement, the people, the comedic relief, the opportunities to shut up, the places that need some light shone on them, the choice to choose Him, and the continual narrow path of light, I wonder if that spiritual depression would take me so low.  My guess is probably not.

         I know this has nothing to do with Ethan and I, as a couple. However, after the weekend we had with his youth group (Friday-Sunday with middle schoolers along with Ashley and Phil) I have been reminded of how it is possible to meet God elsewhere. I’ve known this fact and felt it for years, it’s nothing new, but a reminder is always refreshing. Taking the middle school kids from Navilleton was great. It was good for them to hear us, as college and a couple high school kids, talk about a relationship with God and show that it’s possible. But it was even better for us as a couple and a group of friends to be leading together and joining together for a purpose that was not of selfish desires. We were wanting the kids to have a place where they felt comfortable and supported and open to understanding what God wants for their lives. It was good for us to see each other in a different light because we sometimes take for granted that, the same as those kids have each other and they have us, we have each other to rely on when things get gray where they used to be black and white.  It’s just been an uplifting couple of weeks. Yay God! 

I don't have a verse or quote to wrap this up, but last night I was introduced to this song and it says it all. Forever Reign by Hillsong. If you don't have time to watch this video, look up the lyrics- it's worth it.

Special Persons Camp

John 9:2-7

And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” Having said these things, he spat on the ground and made mud with the saliva. Then he anointed the man's eyes with the mud ...

This past week I was given the opportunity to counsel a camp for adults with mental and physically disabilities. I cannot say enough about the week at ICBC because of how amazing the experience was. 

My cousin Phillip and I were in charge of 8 male campers with various mental diagnosis. As counselors we were responsible for taking our campers to meals, reminding them to bathe, helping them with activities and spending the night in a cabin with them. I will admit to you that leading up this week I was very nervous because I didn't know the severity of my campers disabilities or the behavior trends of each camper. When the campers arrived on Sunday Phillip and I helped them get settled into their cabins and spent a little time getting to know each one of them personally. During the getting to know you time I instantly learned that these 8 men had so many abilities and not disabilities. 

Each day the campers participated in various activities, crafts and free time. The free time was one of my favorite parts of the day because it was the time that I got to spend with my campers individually. Somedays I spend free time sitting on a swing and talking to a camper while other times I played basketball or tether ball with a camper. 

I can honestly say that this past week has changed my life and I cannot wait for next year. The love that a person with a disability has for another everyone they meet cannot be explained. I could sit down and talk with a camper for five minutes and walk away with them telling me they loved me. The amounts of hugs from every camper was overwhelming. Every morning, while waiting for breakfast, I was greeted with so many positive attitudes and good mornings. These campers woke up every morning instantly in a good mood and ready for the day that awaited them. 

My week at ICBC was unbelievable and life changing. I left ICBC today with aprox. 35 new best friends. The next time you see a person with a disability try to look at that person and see the beautiful abilities that they have and not the disabilities that they may have.